An Audio Message From the Publisher:
This is Hank Scott, for The Pure Truth Restored...
Too many people try to see things only through "me"-fogged glasses.
This seems to work for them -- they think -- but it rarely works for others, and in the end this can produce a bumper crop of anger, resentment and hostility.
Belligerence is a form of anger, thanks to stubbornness, that really "ticks" people off (and it can make them mad too)! Someone who is belligerent always seems to be spoiling for a fight.
It matters little if it's because they feel hurt, confused, frustrated, rejected, or whatever might peeve them or motivate their ire, those who are targets of their animosity, anger or resentment only feel the sting of their rejection, the hurt of their attacks, and the turbulence and cut of their tongue.
When you react belligerently toward somebody, they will often react the same to you, regardless how they might actually feel.
Because others think they are justified in giving back what they get, this can often result in escalating and troublesome relationships, right on up to full-scale war between nations.
Anger Management
Instead of reacting with bitter hostility toward someone, when they seem angry, unkind, or even provoking, ask them: "Why do you feel that way?" or "Could you please repeat what you just said?"
This might help them to actually stop a moment and think about what they are saying, and how they are behaving, and perhaps this alone will help to defuse the situation.
When treated reasonably most people will respond with reason -- or at least reveal, to themselves and others, the real motives for their attitude and behavior.
This can go a long way toward resolving whatever issue(s) they feel are important enough to "justify" their actions, emotions and words.
Getting hostile feelings out into the open, in a non-threatening way, can help everyone involved to better understand the situation and find ways to resolve it to everyone's mutual satisfaction and benefit.
It never helps to allow bad feelings to fester or fume in secret -- particularly overnight -- under the surface or hidden from view, privately because you think others won't listen to you or hear what you have to say.
Instead, try telling them: "Please listen to what I feel is important," or "Please let me explain why I feel the way I do."
Then, using non-judgmental words, do your very best to express your feelings, needs, wants or beliefs, as you see the situation.
Ask for, and listen politely to, the other person's views and feelings on the issues you raised.
Perhaps they may still not listen to you.
But this will help you turn YOUR anger around, defuse and resolve it, so that you need no longer feel so angry, frustrated or defensive.